I don't even
by Fistsofthedemigod
Summary: fem! Bat Man and Plastic Man get it on, end of summary.


Okay, so here's a really stupid story, that I wrote for some reason, where Bat Woman and Plastic Man get it on. Why, not really sure. But you know what, I regret nothing.

The night was cold and windy. The dark blue of Bat Woman's suit blended into the dark sky perfectly. She peered through her binoculars to a warehouse across the way. Normally she wouldn't have taken the time to stake out one warehouse, but something told her Baby Face had something big up his sleeve, and she'd surely regret if she wasn't there to stop it in time. She was used to waiting for the time to strike, the perfect moment to make her move. Baby Face appeared out of the front doors accompanied by a few henchmen. About six of them, no problem. Something large and covered in a tarp started to be rolled out of the warehouse as Baby Face made his way to the car.

Bat Woman put down her binoculars, and readied her self for the jump. Nothing would escape her grasp, not Baby Face, not The Joker, no one, no one could escape the Dark Kni-

"Hey bats!"

She swirled round just as she was ready to take a leap of the edge to find O'brian twisting his neck to place his face right in front of hers.

"Not now plastic man, I'm stalking baby face."

She ran in the other direction, running along the roof tops rather than swooping down instead to take down the fresh faced mobster.

"Bats, can I help? No one's been letting me do anything lately. I'm so bored."

He asked while running beside her, extending his legs to make the effort of staying at the same pace as the bat woman a bit more bearable.

"No O'brian, I work alone."

And with that she shot a bat grappling hook and swung down on to the moving platform covered in the tarp. She threw a right hook to the first goon to dare try and strike the Dark Night of Gotham. Another got flipped on to his ass, and three others received a batarang. The last henchman took it upon him self to take his place in front of Baby Face and fire at will. She rolled underneath he spray of bullets. To come back around to the last man standing. She was too quick, to smooth. He Didn't stand a chance, and she took him down with a kick.

"Your time is up baby face. There's no where left to run."

"Nyah, that's where your wrong see. I've got one more trick left Bat Woman."

Baby face revealed a controller, pointed it at the mysterious shape covered by the tape, and pressed a big red button. Bat Woman ran to it to pull of the cover fearing the worst. She suspicions were correct, it was a bomb. It started counting down from five minutes. Baby face had already started making his way to the getaway car. She was torn between going after the villain, and staying to turn off the bomb. There was not telling what the range could be, how many people could get hurt. She couldn't risk it. The bomb looked different, her guess was it was electro pulse based. It would send a shock wave of electricity through the city.

She had trained for this, she had defused a few bombs in her time. But none that would go off in five minutes. The wires were covered by thick glass. She cut through it with a laser on her utility belt. They all shared the same color, that wasn't right. There were some bombs that worked that way, but which ones?

"Bats! Is that a bomb?"

"Yes O'brian, leave before it's too late. Follow Baby Face's henchmen to safety."

"Can you even defuse that thing!?"  
"Of course I can, The bat never fails."  
"The what are you going to do?"  
"I, uh… I'm not sure."  
"Bats it's at thirty seconds! We have to get out of here!"

"No O'brian, I can still stop it."  
"Bats!" 

The timer moved down and set off. Bat Woman made off in the other direction all too late. She covered her eyes. Seconds pasted after the bomb was supposed to go off, she looked up to find O'brian forming a dome over the bomb. Electricity fizzled over his body and dissipated.

"O'brian, that was amazing."  
"Well gee thanks bats. That means a lot buddy."

"No problem. Now, to find Baby Face and put him to justice."

"Wait bats. I'm, I'm not feeling so good."  
O'brian wavered and fell to the ground with a thud.

"O'brian!"  
Things went black for Plastic Man. But when his eyes opened again he found him self in a very ornate bed. The room that surrounded him was a dark red, the furniture, all made out of chestnut brown wood. The bed had for polls, and thick curtains pulled to one side. O'brian himself was wearing blue and white striped pyjamas.

"What in the-"

"You're up, good."

Bat Woman entered the room with a glass of brown liquid in her hands. And a frown playing on her features. Although, O'brian would swear she always looked like that.

"What happened back there bats?"  
"You collapsed. I managed to get you home, and Alfred has been taking acre of you for a few hours."

"Alfred sure is one swell guy. But where am I."  
"That, is none of your business O'brian."  
She moved to take a seat next to the bed and set her drink down on the bed side table.

"Sheesh bats, that a little harsh isn't it? After all we've been through you still don't trust me. I'm hurt."  
"No is not the time for jokes."  
"Then when is?"

She didn't reply, she simply picked up her glass and took a sip. O'brian stared at her, which Bat Woman found to be rather off putting with out his goggles on. He snatched the glass away from her just as it left her lips, and he pressed it to his. He downed the drink in one go.

"That's not a good Idea O'brian."  
He simply replied by pouting and folding his legs and arms.

"When are you going to grown up?"

"When are you gonna relax?"

She made a faint noise in his direction that could be loosely perceived as growling.

"You need to learn to let go."

"I'll let go when crime does."

"Ugh."

O'brian and Bat Woman stayed silent for while. His eyes wandered over her, not out of her costume, and lounging around large, long, very thick dressing gown. It also shared a red hue. She moved to pour her self another drink. She picked up her now full glass and crossed her legs, the action caught O'brian's eyes.

"Say bats, do you? You know…"

"No actually I don't know."

"You know… get around."

"I don't follow."

O'brian tried to shift in the bed covertly, so he could get a better look underneath her dressing gown. However O'brian is never covert.

"What are you doing?"  
"What, oh, nothing."  
"Were you trying to look under my-"

"No, no. No… … No… Maybe."

She sighed and moved to cross her other leg. This left a large part of her thigh exposed, showing a small sliver of a short black night gown.

"Bats Your killin me. This isn't fair."  
"What are you rambling about now O'brian?"

"Are you kidding me? I mean I try bats, but this. I in a bed, I'm guessing in your house. Sitting here in pyjama pants. And your sitting next to me, with brandy in your hands, and a short black night gown. I bet it has not detail on it what so ever."

She scowled at him.

"I'm right aren't I!? I just plane black! Sometimes, bats. You are so predictable."

"That's not true."

"What?"  
He said in-between laughs.

"It has lace. On the top."

O'brian stopped laughing completely now. And just stared at her in disbelief. She put her drink down and sighed. She moved her dressing gown out of the way. To show the thin straps of her night gown. It had a small tracing of lace on the top. Also in black. O'brian simply stared mouth wide open. She avoided his gaze. But made no effort to cover he self up again. His eyes moved downwards, and his mouth slowly closed. She made a quick and sharp inhale of breath, and wriggled in he seat.

O'brian looked back up to her face. The both of them locked onto each other. O'brian pulled off the sheets and moved closer to her wearily. Her frown didn't leave her face, but it softened slightly. O'brian took this as an invitation to keep moving. He placed one hand on the arm of the chair, and another moved to cup her face. He tilted it upwards, still she showed no sign of rejection. His slammed his lips onto hers open mouthed. She immediately responded. She moved him quickly back to the bed, and started moving her tongue against his without a second thought. He gave a large groan, and fell back onto the bed. They broke for a moment, and she took off her dressing gown. He was indeed right. It was short black, and was most likely the only thing she had on. He moved his hands to circle round her thighs, and move up them slowly.

She shivered and closed her eyes.

"Bats, how long has it been?"  
She fell down on top of his resting on all fours.

"A while, maybe a few years."

O'brian took a while to register that, but soon smiled. He slid his hand under her gown, and their lips joined again. Neither one of them were under the pretence that this was anything vaguely romantic. But it was enjoyable for now. And maybe a couple more times in the future. Even after that, she still wouldn't tell him her real name.


End file.
